Young : Life.

Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip @ Koko

We're in London. At some place called Koko.

It has a bunch of orange lights, a couple of balconies, these boxes on the wall for la-di-dah people, and it's not very much at all like a gorilla in a zoo.

On the stage, a bald guy comes out and he starts talking about getting old. He's all, 'Blink and you're thirty-five.' And everyone's depressed.

He leaves and two shouting men come out who jump up and down a lot, and then it's these other guys' turn, and it's all this stuff with pianos and big violins you have to hold on the ground and it's like that music Dumbo hears when he sees pink elephants. Next!

Hello, Dan Le Sac -- you look like a cake!

Hello, Scroobius Pip -- you look homeless!

They start doing air-trumpets and one of them taps the side of his head. Scroobius is sarcastic and uses long words, and in front of all this computer music, he puts on a bad-guy military hat and bores people with told-you-so's, and the whole time I think of a kid funk-robot with a beard programmed to make fun of people.

But the one that goes, 'Just a band. Just a band'. It's good. And that one at the end, about a night-club. Spazz!

I wish I liked the rest more. But I can't.

It's as if they want to keep you away from them, like when your dog's about to puke.