July 30, 2003

First Bomb 'Em Then Pistol Whip 'Em! by Kristy on 11-Jul-03.

Wasn't 15 minutes of fame just under 14 minutes and 30 seconds? Wasn't there a *time* when you made your shitty fucking record, did your drugs, fucked all your STD-trodden groupies senseless then fucked-off to do heroin in a dilapidated hotel room in downtown L.A. with the $250/week royalty check waiting for the yuppie executives from VH-1 to come around to film your FAT beer belly for another incredibly boring 'Where Are They Now, And Who Gives A Fuck?' series?

Even when "rock stars" die or as the filthy hippie who wants to be so "anti-corporate" yet charges up to $85 a ticket Neil Young said, "fade away" the reality is they do neither. Rock 'n' Roll has no scruples anymore (like it ever did) for if it's not some Armani suit-wearing FAT FUCK from Sony Records about to pull the crime of the century by not only signing Celine Dion and J-Ho, but to SUE every music listening motherfucker who happens to "download" the new, er, let's say, P Diddy record, then its those pertinacious sad fucks the SEX PISTOLS wanting to play in Iraq.

Yeah, that'll go down well, you flying-pig fat fuck rutabaga-haired dimwit. Never mind that fact that there just maybe, yes MAYBE some lame, yet hidden weapon of "MASS DESTRUCTION" laying around, say, in a Iraqi dumpster, and that America has has more soliders killed *after* the so-called "war" then while in it, and there is no government, no economic municipality, you ignore the obvious and want to do a "benefit gig" for the people of Iraq! Either the Californian sun has melted what's left of your brain or your ineffable stupidity won't quit.

Tell me, Mr. Lydon, oh, may I call you Mr. Lydon? After all, for a man who once sang about having "no future" and now lives in a gated community with high security and a indoor as well as outdoor swimming pool in every home in Bel-Air I think "Mr" is probably the nicest name I can call you right now. Anyway, tell me, who(m) is to "benefit" from your "benefit"? Hmmmm? Some poor, uneducated, highy-hygiene-lacking Iraqi with a "DEATH TO AMERICA" politics? Or is it a loyalist to Saddam with a Russian genade launcher aimed at your tiny Limey nuts? I'm sure you'll finally KNOW the meaning of what "no future" means lickty god-damn split!

And who pays for your protection much less want to see your poncey British ass in Iraq? Tony Blair? No, you HATE him, remember? George Bush? Maybe, but harken to the idea that your "benefit gig" for all those "poor," "starving," and "uneducated" people in Iraq might help to buy more US flags to burn after you throw them a crumb or two. Gee, won't THAT be swell of the 6:00 primetime news? Did oyu really think it would go to food, a classroom, a better way of life?

You know, for someone who so preached about "anachary and destruction" you tend to love the fringes of Western materialism: the Bel-Air home, the cars, a chance to cop a feel of the now defunct "virgin" Britney surgically-enhanced tits, to say "fuck" on VH-1...and to still think that after 30 years that you and the Pistols are somehow still revelent. Even before his unnessary death and even-more unnessary suffering, Joey Ramone knew when to call it quits - along with every other motherfucker who grinded out a tune and WORKED for his pay. But no you! Oh no, because you were so "SHOCKING" back in the 70's and that cartoon coporate 'God Of Fuck' Manson was/is nothing compared to you and your antics. Yeah, you wrote "the book" maaaaan.

Just for once quit being such a ponce - for that title has been given over to shitwads like Radiohead - and come clean. This so-called "benefit gig" isn't about the people of Iraq. It never was. It's about longevity and hangin on to that remaining 30 seconds of fame as long as you can. And as far as your boring North America tour is going, isn't a little more then sad ticket sales are slumping? Sure, people will come - mainly FAT 70's punk burnouts like yourself and those "too cool" for MTV kids who hate the government and want to "smash the system" - all driving BMWs, Mercedes SL-500's and going to college in places like Stanford or Princeton.

And lastly, who the FUCK in IRAQ would want to see you? You and your Western Satan rock 'n' roll descreating such Holy Land? Fuck, they will not only fucking KILL you, but drag your FAT Bel-Air swimming pool ass throughout the streets of Baghdad like a god damn looted refrigerator for Allah. You can almost hear the shouts now: "God Save The Queen" being replaced with "Give is Eminen, 50 Cent, Christina, Britney, America's white women and whiskey..."
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Posted by dean at 02:33 PM

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