Teenage : Life.

The Players @ A.K.A. Bar

The Players is this laid-back place with leather sofas, paintings of lipstick, PEOPLE IN SUITS, and the most expensive drinks in the world, and IT REALLY SUCKS. I mean, they don't card or anything and a Tom Cruise movie plays on the wall, but then all the girls start drinking WINE and these people who look like YOUR DAD want to kick your ass, swearing in cell-phones. I know. TOTAL AMERICAN PSYCHO.

I'm here for hours. And then, OUT OF NOWHERE, it all starts to be OKAY. People are taking off their ties and moving about. The music gets LOUDER and FASTER, which is some house shit, but more funky and noisy with old keyboards having sex with the vocals, like A RETARDED JAMES BROWN ON ACID.

I feel sorry for this one guy. He's not old or anything and shows up dressed in plaid. But I totally see him talking to a girl, and I think it's because it's late and everyone's relaxed now, laughing like REAL PEOPLE, and, you know, it's not the worst thing in the world.

We meet an Australian and dance like Midnight Oil.

Later, HE PUNCHES ME IN THE GENITALS.