May 28, 2007

The Village Didn't Need A Sign, Nestled Like A Dumb Memory.

The streets were empty during the days and full at night. When the sun dropped off, music came from all directions, places packed. You wouldn't understand. Lead-singer silhouettes behind a microphone, shadows of rope and suicide. Only the locals understood and everyone was a local.

It wasn't a big or a small place, but it was there.

Strung together like a spine, the houses were shacks built from junked appliances and doors of restaurants, giving the village a look of a single line of buildings, with a light curve, ready to move.

Don't come here, okay.

They've sorted it out.

Posted by dean at 05:25 AM

May 25, 2007

. . .

Posted by dean at 09:08 PM

May 23, 2007

Dirty Diaper Mask.

"Listening to comedy albums on the subway makes you look like a lunatic."

Posted by dean at 02:37 AM

May 21, 2007

Hack Stand-Up FAQ.

Things Are Different Than Other Things
1. "L.A. is different than..."
2. "Men and Women are really different..."
3. "Cats are different than Dogs..."

Any Stereotypes In The Crowd Tonight?
1. "What's up with these 7-11 employees?"
2. "And I said 'Put down the Donut, officer'"
3. "Black people walk or talk or dance differently than White people." (Then demonstra
4. "Now, folks... I have nothing against homosexuals
5. "I was in Alabama recently..
6. "What would 'Romeo & Juliet' be like in da hood?"
7. "Horror Movies wouldn't work if the characters were black!"

Did You Ever Notice That Observational Comedy Is Getting A Little Old?
1. "I fly on airplanes a lot..."
2. "Bob Dylan/Michael McDonald/Michael Jackson sings funny."
3. "You can't hear what the guy's saying at the Drive through."
4. "What's up with these Remote Controls?"
5. "Do We Have Any Pot Smokers in the House?
6. "Anybody remember 'Gilligan's Island'?"
7. "I saw a lotta construction on Highway Blah Blah..."
8. "You gotta be careful these days, lotta diseases out there..."
9. "Have you seen that commercial where blah blah blah?"
10. "Have you guys seen this nicotine patch?"

Topical Material Should Be Topical
1. "So Howard Taft is in the news again..."
2. "What's up with this Lorena Bobbit, huh?"

The Comic Tackle Box
1. "...and that's just the women!"
2. "What if O.J. Simpson sang the Brady Bunch theme?"
3. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm the illegitimate son of Mario Andretti and Fred Flinstone!"
4. "Am I going too fast for you sir?"
5. The invisible prop
6. The "list"
7. "... it's just me"
8. "Well folks, it's about time for me to get out of here..."

You Folks Like Impressions?
1. Jack Nicholson
2. Robert DeNiro
3. William Shatner
4. Elvis
5. Christopher Lloyd as "Reverend Jim" from TAXI
6. Others to stay away from
7. Celebrity Impersonations

"That Reunion Tower Sure Looks Like a Penis"
I'm Not Making These Stock Lines Up, People!
How To Tell If A Topic Will Be Hack Before It Is
Wait A Second... I'm A Hack!

Posted by dean at 05:59 PM

May 19, 2007

. . .

Posted by dean at 03:44 AM

May 16, 2007

Mr. Agreeable, One.

"It's the future all right, but it feels more like the present."
Mr. Agreeable

Posted by dean at 07:20 PM

May 15, 2007

Choice Quotes, Re:, Those Forever Known, As O.M.D.

Stop it right now. O.M.D. are pretty much the best English synth band ever and your recalcitrance to this fact is just another false construct preventing you achieving ultimate satisfaction and enjoyment. Sorry, did I say synth band? I meant band.

From the ground up, Architecture & Morality is a classic. It achieves the philosophers stone of being at once a beautiful pop album that is also resolutely experimental and disorientating. O.M.D. were at their pre-John Hughes prime when they recorded this; an experiment in marrying the robotic and the avant-garde to the universal truth of heartbreak and yearning.

Architecture & Morality, from its era defining Peter Saville design work upwards, is a stone cold gem. From the angst ridden yelp of 'Oh my God! What have we done this time?' on opener "The New Stone Age" to the ambient wash of "Sealand," there was a band with an L postcode unafraid to stand in the imbecilic and dunder-headedly massive shadow cast by the four brain-damaged mop tops. (Ironically, there is a knowing nod to The Beatles in the form of "She's Leaving," winking sagely to another band that married pop and experimentalism.) But (and let's not dwell on this too long) O.M.D. are significantly better than The Beatles.

Posted by dean at 05:47 PM

May 10, 2007

The Boat Broke Against The Back Of It, The Plague Of The Oceans, The Artificial Animal That Haunted The Waters Before Life Left The Sea.

A small black and grey cat, the boy's own since he was born, dropped out of his hands. The last thing he thought, watching it go down, helpless, was that he never noticed the spots around its eyes.

This was a mistake. The grown-ups had lied.

Of course, it wasn't hungry.

He didn't even know how to swim.

Posted by dean at 02:14 AM

May 04, 2007

. . .


Posted by dean at 08:35 PM