November 30, 2002

Joan Jett Fan Writes To Rolling Stone.

I tried to find some cleverly worded way to express my disgust with your "Women in Rock" issue, but what i have to say is really quite simple: You guys are completely retarded.

By RS standards, Rock is no longer a style of music but a trendy costume to be whipped up by expensive stylists and slapped onto the latest pop tart barbie doll. Give a girl some tight pants and a spiky bracelet and POOF! She ROCKS!

Your poor choice of cover girls and featured artists brings to mind the Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions. There is nothing necessarily wrong with the breast-baring models inside..but we all understand that they have NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS--Which just might be offensive to women who are interested in sports or who might even be (gasp) real athletes.

Yes, Britney has a talented stylist and yes, somebody gave Shakira a Guns & Roses t-shirt to wear..but they ARE NOT NOW NOR WILL THEY EVER BE ROCK.

Maybe it's naive of me to expect any glimmer of rock'n'roll credibility OR respect for women from a magazine whose cover shot is regularly a naked underweight actress. The thing is , I AM a woman musician with a rock band, and as we all are I am STARVED for any little crumb of recognition that real women rockers might be thrown. So like a sucker I find myself short another five bucks ..and pissed enough to write my first letter to an editor. Avril Lavigne gets some studded accessories from Hot Topic so now she's "upholding the brazen tradition of teenage outrage"???!! Are you SERIOUS? And could someone please explain to me why people keep insisting on referring to PINK as rock? Wasn't she doing the white girl hip hop thing a minute ago? Yeah, she performed on the Aerosmith tribute show --big deal..she was on the Janet Jackson tribute show just before that--Whatever's trendy. WHO CARES. She's a Spice Girl reject...but I digress.

Jewel and Mandy friggin' Moore have full page features as Rock Icons...Meanwhile Joan Jett gets one line. ONE LINE. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, who have never stopped touring, recently did 10 days in the Middle East playing for the troops stationed in Afghanistan. In AFGHANISTAN, Joan would come onstage wearing a birkha, which she ripped off and stomped on before blazing through the purest and nastiest rock show ANYWHERE. But even in the RS WOMEN IN ROCK issue, a story like that gets ONE SENTENCE on the bottom of the last page of Random Notes.

Britney's Rock credentials? Well, she butchers the song "I Love Rock'n'Roll" on her latest record, and when asked about it the genius replies "Well, I've always loved Pat Benatar." And SHE is your Rock issue cover girl?? You should be REALLY embarrassed.

Sleater Kinney was the only rock group listed on the cover..and they got only half a page. Ashanti, the r&b back up singer who can't seem to do anything without "featuring Jah Rule," has two pages.

What about the Donnas? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs? The Distillers? A mag like RS has the power to shine important light on groups like these--instead they are afterthoughts, and that valuable spotlight is wasted on the same overexposed pop princesses WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ROCK.

In your own letter from the editor you have the hypocritical balls to say "rock radio won't touch female artists, while the pop factory keeps churning out soundalike clones, and ambitious musicians with something to say find themselves left out in the cold."

The pages that follow those words are a blatant display that Rolling Stone magazine is happily working for the factory now too.

If the issue had been called "Women in Music"..or maybe "Some Cute Girls with Top 10 Records out Right Now"..I would have no beef with it. Corny as it may sound, ROCK is something which is still meaningful and even sacred to some of us. Use the word "rock" in bold letters next to a picture of Britney Fucking Spears, and you're turning your whole publication into a joke...and an offensive joke at that.
Maya Price

Posted by dean at 04:04 PM

November 29, 2002

ERRB, Page 125.

"Everybody was dropping acid, was fucking in the park."

Posted by dean at 06:58 PM

November 27, 2002


Posted by dean at 02:52 PM

Primal Scream : "Pills".

I'm gonna tell you the truth, the truth about you
The truth about you, you never been true
You ain't nothin', you got nothin' to say
Shine a light on you, you fade away
Fade away

I woke up, felt drunk, throwin' up, pissin' blood
Think death, broke in, burnt out, holed in

Feel numb, i can't see, cracked hands, can't breathe
Ripped up, ripped out, can't crawl, can't whine

Get slayed, blast off, can't plant that bomb
That seed, go on bleed, that blood in saline

Take the blood, fold the skin, crack the guts
Never been seen
Love is so steep, in water, in the sea

Knowing god, culled him, sell your guts, sore skin
Throwin' up, pissin' blood, won't come, still drunk

No time, we're out of time, can't crawl, can't walk
Jet me, blast off, can't blame cock farms

Back seat, promise me, bad blood, dead dreams
Dead dreams, dead dreams

Psycho-parasitic, sub-mosquito, sin-libido, fucked-up
You're sick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
sick sick sick sick sick sick sick
fuck fuck sick fuck fuck fuck fuck
sick fuck fuck sick fuck fuck
sick fuck fuck sick fuck fuck
sick fuck fuck sick fuck fuck.

Posted by dean at 03:14 AM

November 26, 2002

Holding Up A Hip Bone And A Piece Of A Skull.

"It happened during the rain Saturday night. Part of the cemetery wall fell and earth mixed with body parts, coffins and pieces of tombstones invaded the house that is located down the hill," said an official at the cemetery on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro, who did not want to be named.

Posted by dean at 08:52 PM

November 25, 2002

ERRB, Page 86.

"The couple moved to L.A., where he tried to scrape together a living. He had a variety of odd jobs, including tattooing identification numbers on dogs."

Posted by dean at 12:34 AM

November 24, 2002

The Original Game Of Conspiracy And Weirdness.

Posted by dean at 05:59 PM

November 23, 2002

Government Wants To Know What Sexual Artifacts Citizens Buy.

A massive database that the government will use to monitor every purchase made by every American citizen is a necessary tool in the war on terror, the Pentagon said Wednesday.

Rear Adm. John Poindexter, former national security adviser to President Reagan, is developing the database under the Total Information Awareness Program.

On March 16, 1988, Poindexter was indicted on seven felony charges arising from his involvement in the Iran/contra affair, as part of a 23-count multi-defendant indictment. He was named with North, retired Air Force Maj. Gen. Richard V. Secord and Albert Hakim as a member of the conspiracy to defraud the United States Government by effecting the Iran/contra diversion and other acts.
Intelligence Resource Program

In November 1986, as the Iran-Contra scandal broke, President Reagan's national security adviser, John Poindexter, and one of Poindexter's aides, Oliver North, began electronically destroying more than 5,000 e-mail messages in the memory banks of the White House computer system. What they apparently didn't know was that these messages were still retrievable from the e-mail system's backup tapes. Investigators from the FBI and the Tower Commission subsequently used these tapes to reconstruct the Iran-Contra scandal.

Posted by dean at 06:15 PM

November 22, 2002


Look off.

Posted by dean at 05:05 PM

Career Fact.

Ice-T worked on Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Posted by dean at 03:44 PM

November 21, 2002

Scientists To Synthesize New Life Form.

Although it is commonplace to manipulate existing bacteria species to get them to produce certain substances such as antibiotics and other drugs, the IBEA project might offer further advantages. "The advantage of a synthetic organism over manipulating natural organisms ... is then you would have a lot more control over the properties of the cell than if you rely on natural mechanisms," Hutchison said. "For either good purposes or bad purposes ... you'd be in a better position to design exactly what you want."

Posted by dean at 06:31 PM

List-Kick One.

Harp writes: "I hate it when I don't get some music, I feel like I'm missing out, but I guess some people feel good letting out dislike of music. I don't get it."

Posted by dean at 01:59 AM

November 20, 2002


Posted by dean at 05:06 PM

November 19, 2002

Groceries; Earlier Tonight.

Middle-aged clerk with prince-nez glasses looks up and says in a Ben Stein drawl, "Mo' Wax. Good label."

Posted by dean at 11:26 PM

Journalist Confuses Rap With Rape.

I can 't honestly say that I was a fan of Jam Master Jay (aka Jason Mizell), or of his group, Run-DMC, so I will leave it to others to eulogize the dearly departed brother. Yet I wonder who would even want to wax romantic about the hard knock life of a guy who half expected to go out in a blaze of glory anyway. Yes, I know that he was a pioneer who helped create that cacaphonic genre. And that he was a good rapper, whatever that means. To most law-abiding citizens, talking about a good or bad rapper is like talking about good and bad rapists. The rep on rap is so bad that people are afraid to let their children go to concerts or movies featuring hip-hoppers for fear of murder and mayhem.
Philly Hip Hop

Posted by dean at 06:15 PM

Chemical Stomp.

Alan Partridge drove me to the island, looking for Americans and complaining about direct sunlight.

Posted by dean at 02:26 AM

November 18, 2002

The Best Film About Underwater Nazi Zombies With Goggles, Ever.

Posted by dean at 12:28 AM

November 16, 2002

Watson Is Coming With $2 Million.

During the night, I wrote the word "cat" on the top of my hand.

I would like to know why.

Posted by dean at 04:46 PM

November 15, 2002

Motivational Terrorism.

A new Pentagon strategy aimed at luring terrorists into committing acts of terrorism has been recommended to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld by the Defense Science Board (DSB). The "DSB Summer Study on Special Operations and Joint Forces in Support of Countering Terrorism" claims that since the global war on terrorism "requires new strategies, postures and organization," it was advocating the creation of a super-Intelligence Support Activity, called the "Proactive, Preemptive Operations Group (P2OG)."
Working For Change

Posted by dean at 07:30 PM

November 14, 2002

The Dead Milkmen : "Dean's Dream".

It's a Friday night cookin' show
With a horse-meat dish
I had to stay in the freezer
All Thursday eve
Talkin' to that horse

I really had to go
Down to the sidewalk
The sky's all red
The street's filled with people
From a High School band

I escaped to a theatre
To see a girl
With long blonde hair
Right down to there
I escaped from a theatre to see a girl
With long blonde hair

We had to leave

We got in a tan van
Us two in the back
With Steve McGarrett
From Hawaii-Five-O
At the steering wheel
Speeding away we slide into a
Parking lot
And all in slow motion
These tough guys appear

We argue and fight
And one pulls a knife
He hits me in the back
But I'm all right,
I'm all right (x3)

He's all right

I escaped from a theatre
To see a girl
With long blonde hair
Right down to there
I escaped from a theatre
To see a girl.

Posted by dean at 08:47 PM

November 13, 2002

Insane People Trying To Murder Each Other.

And a lot of pigeons.

Posted by dean at 04:30 PM

November 12, 2002

Animate Objects.

Posted by dean at 11:54 PM


Mrs. Armingham pulled her students out of class for a field trip to the Days Inn on Bell & Pine to show them her bald, alcoholic husband rutting away like a weasel with a vacuum.

Posted by dean at 10:36 PM



Posted by dean at 07:12 PM

I Think It Is Seven.








Posted by dean at 06:41 PM

Re-Settling In.

Posted by dean at 02:50 AM

November 11, 2002

This Means War.

Off we go.

Posted by dean at 12:12 AM