November 29, 2003

Stands Forgotten.

Posted by dean at 07:25 PM

November 28, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 245.

Having more body than all breath.

Posted by dean at 11:37 PM

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 244.

They saw again the vast scene of pregenital pigwash where the body of
man, not satisfied with having a chunk of blood sausage between
his thighs, wanted to have another one between his teeth,
where the tongue could coat and lubricate the detonations of speech as
well as the machine-gunning of I know not what mythic dental
anger at the aggressive rush of food.

Posted by dean at 08:14 PM

November 24, 2003

A Kid Playing Soccer Walks Over To Me And Urinates On My Leg.

A package from a plane falls to the ground behind me, dirt-grass puffs into the air.

I look at my car across the water and it's being pulled apart by meter cops.

Posted by dean at 08:45 PM

November 21, 2003

Candide, Page 10.

"She was disembowelled by Bulgarian soldiers, after having been raped to the limit of possibility; they broke the Baron's head when the tried to defend her; the Baroness was cut to pieces."

Posted by dean at 02:53 PM

November 19, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 229.

All true language is incomprehensible.

Posted by dean at 08:57 PM

November 16, 2003

I Reach For Her.

But she's already there.

One of us is crying and I don't know who it is.

Posted by dean at 04:30 PM

November 05, 2003

. . .

Posted by dean at 05:20 PM

November 04, 2003

He's A 50-Year-Old Writer, Buys Drugs From His Son And Says They Give Him The Best Experiences Of His Life.

I have occasionally been asked how I became a regular Ecstasy-eater. I was aware of its reputation as the "love drug", had heard it described as a "four-hour, full-body orgasm" and I found this intriguing, alluring and worthy of further investigation.

And so the first time I ate E -- or X, or EX, or XTC, or MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) -- it was having given my son permission to sell it to me. I became his customer, a buyer, a reliable and steady client, the lowest link on the food chain of the multibillion-dollar commerce that proceeds unabated every day, every hour, in every large city and small town in every state in this union, in what is called by those paid to "war" against them "controlled substances".

So here, in a word, a most sober, solemn, even a sombre word, is what I know: yum. Ecstasy is delicious. Or, put it another way, Ecstasy is delicious and I recommend highly, loudly and long that everyone whose health does not contraindicate or preclude its ingestion, ought to ingest it. Go out, I admonish you, all of you, hit the streets or collar that neighbourhood kid, drum up a contact, do a deal, repair thyselves home, soften the lights, put on some music -- the best stuff -- pour yourself a pitcher of ice water, perhaps two, keep a tin of Altoids handy, as well as a tube of Vicks inhalant and a couple of packs of mineral ice, make yourself comfortable, lie back and... swallow. An hour from now, perhaps less, you are going to experience something that shall forever change such time as remains to you on this earth. You are going to experience something that is, every second of it, delicious -- deliciously, positively, unprecedentedly w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.

Ecstasy is a clarifier, but it is a personal clarifier. It is not -- despite all the peace/love/unity/respect hype surrounding it -- a universal one. Its lessons may be universal in their implications, but they are intended to be applied to oneself. Which is not to say that the drug does not have its social dimensions or that one ought not to do E in the company of others. Indeed I would not find it congenial to do, nor have I ever done it, alone. (As close as I ever came was on an unpeopled, night-time sidestreet in London, and it was raining, and it was one of the memorable experiences of my life -- neon, glistening, menthol, veneered in layer after thickening layer of thick honey. Lovely streets, London, and lovely, so lovely, its rain.)

But better by far to do it with those one loves, and best of all with one's one-and-only lover. And if what one takes in the broadest sense is all about human connection and empathy -- E has proven highly effective in certain kinds of couples therapy -- it is all the more about connecting with and feeling empathy for oneself. It is, contrary to its image as the current drug of choice among teenagers and the prevalence of its use at their "raves", the most intimate of drugs.

What happened next was that everything and all at once, while clearly remaining itself, was transfigured, transmogrified, a new self, a simultaneously deeper and higher, older and newer self -- smoother and softer and rounder. The world was suddenly guilt- and worry- and wrinkle-free, palpably, beautifully buoyant -- visually, texturally, aurally -- transcendently right and glorious and divine. Whatever beautiful thing one can imagine, it is that much more beautiful on E. And so we looked at one another and felt one another, with our fingers and our lips and our tongues, indeed with the whole of our new-found faces, this plumbing of the new map of our bodies -- new softer hair, new smoother flesh, new pinker, fresher, more fragrant, shimmering, altogether fluffier genitalia -- and we smelled and tasted one another -- she smelled of burst peaches and tasted as the recent salts of pearls -- because sense of smell and taste is no less honed and heightened than the other senses.

And then, after helping each other off with our bathrobes, our old, nubby, cotton-twill bathrobes -- suddenly spun of the finest cashmere and angelica, these clouds of talcum and down -- we embraced, and kissed, and she whispered in my ear: "We've found
fucking gold."
The Guardian

Posted by dean at 03:35 PM

Closer, Page 116.

Dan : There's no space. There's not enough ... space.

Posted by dean at 04:06 AM

In Prison.

She pulled back the black curtain to reveal the rest of the building, exposing us as art-exhibit.

"See," the warden said, "lines."

Posted by dean at 03:26 AM

November 03, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 215.

And that is how:
the great secret of indian culture
is to lead the world back to zero,

Posted by dean at 02:15 AM

November 02, 2003

What Is The Square Root Of One-Hundred.

Posted by dean at 06:15 PM

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 209.

And now,
all of you, beings,
I have to tell you that you've always made me crap.

Posted by dean at 03:28 PM

November 01, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 175.

You're no longer there,
but nothing leaves you,
you've kept everything except yourself.

Posted by dean at 03:35 PM