December 31, 2003


Posted by dean at 01:20 PM

December 30, 2003

My Killing Is Up For Review Soon (By Some Posh Fellas) And They Can't Give Me The Advantage Of Communication Cos I'm So Deadly, Apparently.

Subject: All sorts.
From: Mick Scanlon
Date: 27-Dec-03 18:07:37 EST

Hay again Folks. Happy New Year. And a very special Happy New Year to my Fave Family, The Cowells who want me killed so that attention as to why i was killed will get them off the Hook (possibly). I genuinly don,t like the idea of any of them being killed anyhow. We all think about revenge in a big way but the reality is often something we don,t want deep down.

Well i just got back from three days away for crimbo and got rid of that awful being watched feeling i live with 24/7 and its simply amazing the amount of energy it saps from me thinking that i maybe am being watched.
In fact it near kills me.

This of course is designed to make me crack and if it gives anyone any satisfaction then don,t worry, sometimes i feel i,m going too.

Anyhow, my killing is apparently up for review soon (by some posh fellas) and they can,t give me the advantage of communication cos i,m so deadly, apparently.

So lets see. I have plans to begin putting together some abstract paintings soon. They,ll take a good while and i hope to release em to the general public around summer so be watching out for them. Its gonna take me ages to get to grips with re-learning painting techniques. My brain still is far from functioning the way it used too so allthough on the surface i seem relatively okay i,m actually not the full quid at all. Nice.

Using guilt there was a kick ass move and whoever thought of it deserves full credit.

I got a top review from work before crimbo and hope things continue the way they have been. Its great getting a normal life back again. I still think of siobhan most days for what its worth and i,ll allways love her even though we never properly met, i,d love to see her fulfill her dreams deep down, the ejit i am . As it turns out i can,t go with a girl anyhow and haven,t off course. My state of mind is such that it would be a very stupid thing to attempt anyhow, i really am good for nothing in that area. The truth is i don,t really want to anyhow, you have to remember i see below the surface and most of the time its scary. F,E,A,R, for everything a reason.

I work in a mad enviroment and if you combine that with a external focus its not funny.

So as you can probably tell my confusion is still quite strong. It gives others the advantage.

My mind is still open as to how, why, and for what reason the whole thing happened, but thankfully the advantage of working again is that you can forget about it. I also won an X-Box at work and that helps me to forget as well (Halo is tops). Also i think that the basics of learning to paint again helps my brain to begin thinking in terms of processes again which i have not done for ages. So anyhow i,m knackered for tonight. Happy New Year.

Full respect to James. I bought the DVD of Getting Away with it, Live and its simply wicked.

By for now.

Loads more to talk about and i,ll make my postings more frequent i hope, from here onwards.

Good Health and Long life to All.

Posted by dean at 02:16 PM

December 29, 2003

Candide, Page 105.

"Pardon once more, pardon me, reverend father, for having thrust my sword through your body."

Posted by dean at 11:29 PM

December 28, 2003

A Planet? A Boat? A Happy Man?

A porcupine with earphones.

Posted by dean at 04:07 PM

December 23, 2003

Shend Red Feet, Page 80.

"We found that human cultures pass through phases, each culture in its own time. As the culture ages and begins to lose its objectives, conflict arises within it between those who wish to cast it off and set up a new culture-pattern, and those who wish to retain the old with as little change as possible."

Posted by dean at 09:12 AM

December 22, 2003

Her Life Started In A Hut Of Mud And Shit In The Mediterranean, And She Doesn't Know What Happened To It.

For the first time she noticed there was something wet and bad on her shoes.

How long has it been since she was frisked, searched, or carded (better to die young > not die at all)?

She doesn't want to give him the wrong idea.

Posted by dean at 09:37 AM

December 13, 2003

. . .

Posted by dean at 11:05 PM

December 10, 2003

She Walks Like A Broken Stroller, Eyes Locking Onto Me.

A white car pulls up between us, hitting the curb with its license plate, and I think she knows I'm about to lie to her.

Posted by dean at 01:51 AM

December 09, 2003

Candide, Page 94, Cont.

"It is good to write as we think; it is the privilege of man."

Posted by dean at 01:44 PM

Candide, Page 94.

"But in all those books there is nothing but vain systems and not a single useful thing."

Posted by dean at 03:43 AM

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 259.

For nothing bestializes a being like the taste for eternal happiness.

Posted by dean at 03:31 AM

December 07, 2003


Posted by dean at 09:25 PM

Little Yellow Rubber Threads Remind Her of Dreams And Serendipity (Dungeon Monk +5!).

She kept giving me binder pages that already had fiction.

"I need that," she said each time I noticed.

Posted by dean at 05:57 PM

December 06, 2003

Candide, Page 92.

"This noise is amusing for half an hour; but if it lasts any longer, it wearies everybody although nobody dares to say so. Music nowadays is merely the art of executing difficulties and in the end that which is only difficult ceases to please. Perhaps I should like the opera more, if they had not made it a monster which revolts me."

Posted by dean at 06:22 AM

December 05, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 247.

Ideas don't come without limbs, and so these are no longer ideas but
limbs, limbs fighting among themselves.

The mental world was never anything but that which remains from a
hellish trampling of organs while the man who wore them is no

Posted by dean at 05:50 AM

December 03, 2003

A Window, Walking.


Posted by dean at 02:32 AM

December 01, 2003

Candide, Page 71.

"I have traversed several provinces. In some half the inhabitants are crazy, in others they are too artful, in some they are usually quite gentle and stupid, and in others they think they are clever; in all of them the chief occupation is making love, the second scandal-mongering and the third talking nonsense."

Posted by dean at 07:12 AM