August 30, 2003

Stuffing A Phase-Shift Up Your Ass.

Posted by dean at 02:57 PM

August 29, 2003

A One-Legged Beggar Hops Between The Traffic And We Lurch Off.

"Where's Jesus?" wonders Gaz. He's up above the man-made lake: gold, bold, impressive. There's no light beneath him on the mountain, and he just sort of hovers there like a thick bronze crane in the sky.

Posted by dean at 03:19 AM

August 28, 2003

The Intense Heat Has Turned My Black Jeans White With The Salt Of My Sweat.

What is happening here right now --- the incompetence of the U.S. occupying force -- is almost a separate story. A much easier story. Make no mistake, the United States is currently bumbling, turning the Iraqi people against it with its bullheaded moves. Yes, the Americans may be handing out soccer balls to Eye-raqi children and building water treatment plants. No, they're not getting haircuts at Iraqi barbershops or interacting with Iraqis in any meaningful way. The American soldiers hide behind their barbed wire and concrete barriers and seethe at the Iraqis as they munch on their MREs and dream of home. None of the non-coms wants to be here, even though the commissioned officers see it as a great career boosters. The average soldier has grown increasingly rude and hostile toward the locals. For example every Iraqi kid knows how to say "Get the fuck away!" in perfect English.

In addition, I've now not been out of the region for almost a year. I've spent more time in Iraq over the last year than outside of it. I've started to become cynical and in need of a change of scenery. I go to press conferences and look around and think what strange animals we are, sitting around in this room watching as the foolish man speaks his foolish words. I see the folks from the wires who refuse to speak to each other. I see the folks from the first-tier papers who keep their distance from the folks from the second-tier-paper colleagues. Over there's the French television journalists who always ask stupid questions in bad English. There's the Japanese journalist who asks the same stupid question at every presser. Some might appreciate the Zen of such rituals. I don't. I think what would someone landing from Mars think of this? I feel like I'm far away. It's all become a little absurd to me. I see the little stories we spin out, I notice the little distortions and exaggerations we sneak in. A good friend once said to me, "All public communication is terrorism," and each day I begin to see his point more.
Guerrilla News Network

Posted by dean at 02:57 AM

August 27, 2003

Spike Island Aftermath.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Nothing. I've known that since I was a little kid. You're only here once, so do what you feel."

Posted by dean at 06:33 PM

August 26, 2003

Cash Fed Twin & Racker Scams, Page 68.

A dead little girl said: I am the one who bubbles over with horror in the lungs of the living. Get me out of here right away.

Posted by dean at 03:12 PM

August 25, 2003


Posted by dean at 12:44 AM

August 24, 2003


[Between] a pair of parallel tracks, I sat with a girl I used to know in History of Television and painted low pictures on road-signs.

Posted by dean at 01:25 AM

August 23, 2003

Minutemen : "Shit From An Old Notebook".

Let the products sell themselves
Fuck advertising, commercial psychology
Psychological methods to sell should be destroyed.

Posted by dean at 09:12 PM

August 19, 2003

He Flies.

Posted by dean at 03:22 PM

A2, Page 203.

On foot they traveled, in old and new cars, in motorcycle packs, in trucks and buses and camp trailers, the young and the very young, leaving their medieval cities, tall stone citadels of corruption and plague, not hopeless in their flight, not yet manic in their search, the lost, the found, the nameless, the brilliant, the stoned, the dazed and simply weary, shouting their honest love of country across the broken white line, faces lost in disbelief and hair, the drummer, the mystic, the fascist, an occasional female eye peering from a rear window, the noise at the back of her head a short song of peace.

Posted by dean at 10:24 AM

August 18, 2003

Eel Loce Goj, Page 149.

I can do this, I thought. I could just be myself, my father's son, living out my life in a town where I was born, growing old among people who'd known me as a kid. I could accept the world I'd unknowingly volunteered for the night I started a new life in Cindy, learn to love her the way my father had learned to love my mother, learn to be content with the things other people learned to be content with. What was in front of my right now -- the anonymous suburban street, the silent trees, the truck glowing with its hidden fires -- all that could be enough.

Posted by dean at 05:46 PM

Young, Dumb (And Full Of Fun).

JIM BOB, Carter USM and Jim's Super Stereoworld singer, acoustic troubadour, author (watch this space), parent, painter, decorator and new Renaissance Man is touring again. Performing solo versions of songs from his many years in the biz, including JSSW and Carter songs on his - even more battered after the last tour - acoustic guitar.

JIM has made a number of promises for the tour:
1. This time round he promises to learn some different Carter tunes and play on until the electricity supply runs out.
2. He'll bring his own stool, table and tablelamp.
3. To make more promises in the months leading up to October.

Tickets for most gigs are on sale now.

16th - Birmingham Glee Club 0870 241 5093
17th - Glasgow 13th Note 0141 553 1638
18th - Frome St John's Hall
19th - Winchester Railway 01962 867795
22nd - Northampton Soundhaus 01604 250898
23rd - London Lock 17 (formerly Dingwalls) 020 7428 5929
24th - Worcester Marrs Bar 01905 613336
25th - Ivybridge (Devon) Rugby Club (Benefit gig & tribute to Jim's sister Vicky)
26th - Cheltenham - Calmer 01242 522852
28th - Manchester Night & Day 0161 236 4597
29th - Nottingham Maze 0115 947 5650
30th - Sheffield Casbah (free admission) 0114 275 6077

Posted by dean at 11:26 AM

August 17, 2003

She Was Bipolar?

She thought she had,

strep, so that's why,

she wouldn't come over.

Posted by dean at 04:12 PM

August 15, 2003

What Habit, Fool Kids.

Posted by dean at 04:59 PM

Eel Loce Goj, Page 87.

He had his moods, but he inhabited them with a fierce dignity, as if he'd made a conscious decision to be unhappy as a protest against a ridiculous and unjust world. If he was depressed -- and it would have been pretty hard to deny it -- his depression seemed to have an ethical rather than chemical origin.

Posted by dean at 03:01 PM

Euphemism Generator.

Rearranging the virus.

Training the lucky flesh cowboy.

Baking the red smurfy parcel.

Getting the area.

Understanding the rubber mambo!

Posted by dean at 12:38 PM

August 12, 2003


Posted by dean at 09:23 PM

A2, Page 184.

"The more magical a race is," my mother said, "the less significant the individual is. Magic overwhelms everything. We in the West value human life almost desperately because we have no magic."

Posted by dean at 11:46 AM

August 09, 2003

Eel Loce Goj, Page 75.

"The compactor room," he said finally, squinting at the Whiffenpoofs as though they were giving off a painful radiance. "It was the strangest thing."

Posted by dean at 11:13 PM

Eel Loce Goj, Page 71 + 72.

It wasn't that they all looked the same -- some were mussed and seemingly drugged, some were fresh from the shower, some were furtive, others smug -- but what they shared was an aura of privacy and collusion that sealed them off from the rest of the world, marking them as temporary foreigners in our midst, people you'd need to address in an unnaturally loud voice if you wanted them to understand what you were saying, or even that you were being spoken to in the first place.

Posted by dean at 07:16 PM

August 07, 2003

Cocaine & Bowling.

Posted by dean at 12:26 PM

August 06, 2003

I Phear Dem And I Phear U Is Dem, Job-San by whodat 11:19pm Aug 2 '03.

How do I know you are not one of *Them* I feel something trying to get into my cylinder sex power...

Posted by dean at 10:49 PM

August 05, 2003

Letter Discovered In The Trash Outside Steve Burns's Apartment Building.

Members of the Board,

Operation Blue Dog was completed in January, 2002. It was, by all accounts, a success, and we can feel proud of our accomplishments during that time. We have since moved on to operation Rock Godlet, with a project completion date of January, 2003.

What is the goal of Operation Rock Godlet?

  1. The goal is to demonstrate to THE PUBLIC that Operative Steve Burns is capable of writing sweet-sounding songs about science and love. These songs will be released by May, 2002.

  2. It is also our intention to encourage THE PUBLIC to purchase laser-read compact discs which contain these songs.

  3. When possible, we will send Operative Steve Burns out to "perform" music at various locales in order to increase contact with THE PUBLIC.

How does it fit in with Mighty Little Man, Inc's overall strategy?

The bifrequency harmonics of the songs presented by Operative Steve Burns will alter the brains of each listener so that they will be fully prepared to submit to the Space Lobsters upon their arrival. This fits in with our overall Space Lobster Invasion Readiness Plan as was dictated to us by THE MASTERS.

What services have been obtained to assist Operative Steve Burns?

In order to achieve our objectives with Operation Rock Godlet, we have obtained the services of members of the Flaming Lips, a musical organization which most recently produced the album The Soft Bulletin, along with producer David Fridmann. The Flaming Lips have assisted Mr. Burns in crafting an album of uncommon intelligence and high entertainment value, all of which will make our goal of full receptiveness to enslavement by Space Lobsters much easier to fulfill.

The Flaming Lips have of course not been informed of the Space Lobsters.

Have THE MASTERS approved this plan?

THE MASTERS are in full accordance with all of our goal and have informed us that our Space Lobster Invasion Readiness Plan has so far exceeded their expectations.

We look forward to a complete invasion no later than 2004. Your full cooperation will be appreciated in the months ahead. Thank you for you efforts so far! Your action kits have been sent via brain radio.


Xortar Cheemchim
CEO, Manchild, Inc.
Group Leader, Space Lobster Invasion Readiness Plan

Posted by dean at 01:27 AM

August 03, 2003

Longest Fight Scene.

Posted by dean at 07:12 PM